Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
