There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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