Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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