I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
