So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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