just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
