oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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