I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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