i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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