just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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