so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize