i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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