Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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