Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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