is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
