Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
