We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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