I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
