Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
