how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
