Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
