There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
