You're so nebulous sometimes
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
