The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
