so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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