Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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