this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
