I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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