I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
