i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
