I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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