will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
