Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
