if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
