my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
