We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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