there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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