so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize