Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize