i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
