i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Enjoy the penises
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
