I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
