somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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