HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
