You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
