Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
handjob tips. give me some.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
