white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
