Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
