U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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