went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
