too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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