Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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