Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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