you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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