My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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