What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
