I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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